so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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