Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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