Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
