And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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