who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
