so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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