i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
me + whiskey = a bad person
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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