Christians are straight up FREAKS
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Your penis caused this!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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