things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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