WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
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