he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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