im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
