Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
