You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
