Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
