If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
