i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
