Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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