I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
