Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Your cock deserves a montage
You can't just leave with hair like that
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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