Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
