So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
