Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Boobs speak an international language.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
