we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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