thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
