Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
