i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Success! We fucked roommates!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
