I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
