All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize