Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
