Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
