Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
