I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
