Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
