You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
