At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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