So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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