i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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