Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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