some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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