I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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