She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
