It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
