Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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