whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
