Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
