Your mouth is God's brothel.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
