It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
