It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
