Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
