everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
