grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Im part way to drunk.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
