STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
