Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
