i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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